Monday, August 9, 2010


-----Email Message-----
The only place that feels like home any more is anywhere that I am with you.

You know the feeling when you are on a trip or just have had a long day and you are so excited to be finally going home? That happens to me a lot. However in my case , once I finally get home I realize that being in the house isn't what I actually want. Last October, when Caleb left for Iraq the first thing I did in my new room is decorate. I turned the room into my life, in a way that it represents me, right now. Its has art and photographs all over, fun lights and tissue paper pom poms hanging from the ceiling, its girly and bright. I created for myself a place where I can be and feel "home", at least I thought. "Home" is an interesting concept however. It is a feeling and a place. You can have a house but not a home and you can have a home without a house. My life has become a combination of those two things. It wasn't always that way though. Growing up my house and my home were the same. I think my house became just another building as my family started to move out and go their own ways. When Caleb came home from Iraq the last time(we were engaged then) I had just moved in with some friends and was starting life outside of my parents house. Once I saw Caleb though everything finally clicked, the light bulb finally came on. I went up to visit him for the weekend but decided to stay forever. I just realized that where he was, I wanted to be. I love having a physical location to call my home, but in the end "home" is just a word. It doesn't mean much to some people, but to me home is Caleb. And now Shiloh. I can't wait until I will have both of my boys together so I can finally "go home".

1 comment:

Barbara said...

I totally understand your feelings...When Jon went away to bootcamp for months I realized the same exact thing about home not being what I used to think it was. I found this frame that said, "It is not the home that I love but the life that is lived there." And that is exactly what my heart felt...I hope Caleb gets to come home to you soon...