Friday, January 21, 2011

Project 31, Day 1

Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?

–noun, plural -ties.
1. the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).
 
I'm not really sure what beauty means to me. I know what it meant to me but that idea of it now is something that I generally try to not think about. I've never really thought I measured up to the "ideal" of "real beauty". I thought that beauty was either the "perfect christian woman" or someone who was graceful, thin, perfectly poised, and of course beautiful, or a combination of both things. But I never measured up to either of those. I was the never good enough Christian and never pretty enough (at least that's what I thought). I have done lots of "ugly" things, I spent so long trying to be this "beautiful person" on the outside. And it brought me nothing but trouble.
I don't think I can really write out what beauty means to me, but I know it when I see it. I see it in my mother and my sisters, in my friends, and occasionally if I take a step away from the mirror and stop being so critical, I can see it in me.
I know I haven't really defined beauty yet, I honestly don't know how. Beauty is such a mystery to me, but I don't mind. Right now God is showing me the beauty in myself, in my flaws and my post-baby body and I am learning to love all of me. So if I needed to break all of this into something short and more understandable than my babble...Beauty, to me, is seeing and knowing all of my flaws and still being able to say "I am an amazing woman (and a damn good mother)."

4 comments:

Casey Martinez said...

You were real in this post and that was beautiful! I agree with what you have shared. It was really hard for me to pin down what beauty was too but, I think you have described it perfectly! Looking forward to more;0

DaisyJo said...

I like stream-of-conciousness-posts lovely job.

Ashley Jackson said...

Yeah, I thought this post was really beautiful. I am stopping by from the P31 and I will be following your journey:)

amylou said...

love your honesty! and that last sentence you wrote was a wonderful answer.